I'll Be Your Secret
by RockinTheOC
Summary: Short piece, fluffy little thing I thought up. A dissection of the beginning of SethSummer's relationship.


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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Note: Here's a short story that I felt like writing after I heard this song for the first time in about 2 years. Enjoy and keep a look out for my other stories. I should be updating this weekend or early next week. Also, for this story, Seth has not announced his love for Summer at school (the kissing booth/coffee cart scene), but mostly everything else in the show has happened. 

I'll be your secret

He walked toward the theater, shuffling in a subdued fashion like only he could. He didn't know what it was, the bright lights of the marquis or the glass of champagne he had consumed earlier, but something was making all the blood rush to his head. It was all sort of fuzzy and dizzying, though in a good way. She stood in the line, waiting with her back turned to him. The mixture of the building's lights and her abundant use of bronzer made her skin shine more brilliantly that he had seen in some time. It had been a difficult few weeks for them both. 

He had broken up with Anna and hooked up with Summer creating a chain of events that left him and both girls confused and angry. He hadn't meant to hurt Anna, but his desire for Summer overwhelmed every ounce of his being. Slowly, it was eating him alive, and so he had to do what, in his mind, was right. 

And it never felt so right. 

The first night they were together, after the awkwardness of their intimacy, Seth had gone home and thought about how lucky he was to have even gotten a chance with Summer, even though a repeat was most likely not in order. He thought maybe being with her once would be enough to satisfy his craving. But that's not how his body worked. Every minute. Every hour. All he could think about was that skin, that hair, those eyes. Those lips.

Endless Summer. 

So he had gone back for more. And maybe it wasn't the best experience in the whole world, but it was still exciting, and it was still with Summer. But, he had not felt adequate enough for her. After all, she was who she was and she was used to so much better. So he threw in the towel. He gave up. And letting her go hurt like no other pain he had felt. The look on her face, the tears in his eyes was enough to make anyone's heart break. But it was for the better. She needed someone who could satisfy her; Princess Sparkle needed her stud and Captain Oats just wasn't pulling through. 

But in a shocking twist of the drama, she had come back to him armed with a confession no one would have ever guessed. _Virgin? _Summer? It seemed unreal. Their whole awkward/bad sexual experiences finally made sense, but why would anyone lie about being a slut? But that was who she was, someone who could be comfortable with that label even though she wasn't. She was the type of girl who thrived off, if not needed attention to live. She was the tattered little girl whose mother left and whose father nearly abandoned her for his practice. She sought attention from anyone who would give it to her. And there would always be boys out there willing to do that. But she was his, and only his, right?

Well, not in public. Seems Summer wasn't really into seeking attention from people when she was with him. In fact, she avoided the scene as much as possible. Was she embarrassed of him? Maybe. Did it hurt him? Definitely. But he had been willing to accept it. He was her little secret. That's what she called him. She claimed that she didn't want anyone to know about them because she wasn't comfortable with having everyone know all of their business and that she didn't want to share him with anyone else. Which was fine, but did she have to ignore him and treat him like crap at school? 

She didn't. And she knew this, but she continued to because her popularity was more important to her than he was. At least that's what he thought. It was partly true, it was all about her reputation, but dating him would not hurt it. It was her intense fear that he would grow bored with her and dump her. That was the one thing she was most frightened of in life. Abandonment. She could not be lonely again. She could not bear to have the scarlet _L _associated with her. So it was better this way. She didn't like hurting him, but there was not really anything she could do to save herself. And it was going well. He was accepting the fact that she just wanted it to go this way, but then the stupid bitch had to meddle in their affairs. 

Anna always complicated things when it came to their relationship. She pointed out to Seth how unfair Summer was being towards him. And it was, unfair. Summer could admit that. She did treat Seth like he didn't matter when in reality he meant more to her than anyone else did. And so Seth followed Anna's advice and brought this up with Summer. But she refused to give in to him. And show him that she cared that much about someone other than herself? No way. He wasn't willing to give up without a fight, one which he was about to win until his sweet little pixie friend broke the news. 

She was leaving. To Summer it was a blessing. Everything could go back to the way it should have been. To Seth it was something else. Did he regret breaking up with Anna? She hoped not. She couldn't lose someone else. And he couldn't lose Anna.

She was his confidence. His silent supporter. The first girl who had ever really given him a chance. She was leaving because of him, he was sure of it. And so as Seth and Summer sat at his grandfather's party, it had been awkward. She couldn't figure out why he was so preoccupied with Anna when he claimed to want to only be with her every night when they were alone. And Seth couldn't get Anna off his mind. So Summer had enough, if he wanted to chase after her, then he could. She had been upset, he could tell that from the look on her face. Sure, Anna was her friend, but not in the same way she had been Seth's friend. But he ignored her look of frustration and went to the airport. 

I love you as a friend. Was that all? He risked his relationship with Summer for a declaration of friendship? He was so confused. What did he want Anna to say? If she said that she loved him more as a friend, what would he have done? He loved Summer, he knew that. He loved Anna too, he thought just as a friend. He couldn't do this to either girl again, so he bit his tongue and said nothing to his _friend _as she walked through security and out of his life. His ego was bruised and he now had to go home to an empty bed because he was sure that his girlfriend wasn't going to want to spend the night or even talk to him. And he was right about that.

She had ignored him for real this time at school, not meeting up in their secret hiding place in between classes for the quick make out sessions that were the highlight of his day. She didn't sit with him at lunch, instead choosing Brad, Jake, Tim, Corey, and Nick as her company these days. The speedo wearing gods of Harbor High School. It's not that it bothered him though because it really, really didn't. Just like it didn't bother him whenever her arm would gently touch one of the other guys' arms when he told a funny joke or something. 

Sure it didn't.

She flirted with the others because she knew it drove him crazy. And that's what she wanted him to feel. He felt like crap without her. It was a bittersweet victory for Summer.

She didn't wait around for him after 6th period to drive him to her house where they would have their afternoon _study_ sessions. He went through a whole week of this torture until he went over to her house, stormed into her bedroom and begged her to take him back. He missed her, and he looked pathetic. How could she resist? 

And so they were together again. He knew she was still slightly upset about being completely ignored over Anna's letter, but he made sure she knew she was the only one for him. Which meant giving in to her every demand and wish. Which meant that he had to give up any hope of letting their relationship be known. She could never be public with him now. Which is why on this Saturday night, they arrived in separate cars, just two acquaintances who happened to randomly meet at the movie theater. What a coincidence.

He was glad that they decided to ditch the stupid Newport social thing they were at earlier. Well, she had decided--he had just nodded and hurried off to tell his parents he was leaving. And now he was there, watching her stare off into space as she waited in line, tapping her foot. It was just like her to be impatient. 

"Took you long enough, Cohen."

"Sorry, I had to make up a good excuse to leave. My dad really wasn't happy. He totally wanted out too."

"Well, whatev. What do you want to see?" Her hands were on her waist as she waited expectantly for an answer.

"Hey Suh-mer."

Shit. 

What the hell were they doing here. Brad and his clan of jocks and girls wearing skirts that were made for 3 year olds walked up to Summer, ignoring him as usual. She turned around, her face drained of color. 

"Hi guys!" she practically screamed perkily. 

"What are you doing here? Is this punk bothering you?" She looked back at Seth who had inched further and further away from the group. He was staring at the ground, distracting himself with the lyrics of a song that Anna had sent him in an email with the short note: Get Summer with your confidence, Cohen. Make her trust that you will always be there for her. Then she will not be afraid anymore. 

It was a song that was completely not her style of music, but somehow described everything that he and Summer had been going through. Even though she was thousands of miles away, she still knew what to say, without saying it at all. That was why she was such a good friend.

Summer nervously shuffled her feet around as she tried to think of a PC answer. 

"No, he's not bothering me."

"Wait, are you on a date with this emo freak?" The kids snickered as Summer turned red.

It was taking all his concentration to not turn some unflattering shades of red and screaming at these jackasses to leave his girlfriend alone so that he could have a good date with her. But he listened to the song playing over in his head and drowned the others out.

I wanna be that guy who can say you're mine 

When we're standing in the movie line 

I wanna pick you out of the crowd 

Shout it out so loud 

So everyone hears me 

And I would give you the world 

But if you decide that's not what you'd like 

If you wanna keep this quiet, then, baby 

I'll be your secret, if you can keep it 

And I'll be your friend, if you really need it 

And I'll be the answer to your 'Why?' 

If you are willing to give me a try 

Sometimes I feel like tearing down these walls 

That keep us trapped inside 

I wanna take away their doubt 

Show what I'm about 

So, they can't ignore me and I would hold you tonight

But no, no, no, that's not what they'd like 

No they wanna keep us quiet, then, baby... 

I'll be your secret, if you can keep it 

And I'll be your friend, if you really need it 

And I'll be the answer to your 'Why?' 

If you are willing to give me a try 

Don't let them tell you how to be 

Just open up your eyes and see 

That you belong to me 

Why should we care what people say 

Why should we let them stand in our way 

You don't have to be afraid! 

I'll be your secret, if you can keep it 

And I'll be your friend, if you really need it 

And I'll be the answer to your 'Why?' 

If you are willing to give me a try 

I wanna pick you out of the crowd 

Shout it out so loud 

So everyone hears me 

I wanna give you the world 

I wanna give you the world! 

And let me be the answer to your 'Why?' 

Let me be your secret! 

If you're willing to give me a try… 

I wanna give you the world 

But if that's not what you'd like 

I'll be your secret… 

If you can keep it

Seth lifted his head and opened his mouth to answer Brad's question before Summer had a chance to. Maybe this wouldn't work out between him and her after all. He didn't actually really want to be her secret. If they were going to be together, then he wanted to let the world know. He needed to win her with confidence and he would tell her this later. But for now, he was still feeling cowardly and he would play along and tell Brad that he was just stopping to say hello. 

But he was a second too late. 

"What if I was? Is it any of your business?" 

What had she just said? Was she admitting that they were a couple?

"And if I want to date Seth, then I will. He may be an emo freak, but he's _my _emo freak! And he's great in bed!" her face was flushed. She looked so hot when she was angry. She turned to him, grabbed him and kissed him. Hard. In front of everyone. Sometimes she really could surprise him.

Brad's mouth hung open slightly. The group looked embarrassed and slowly dispersed through the crowd. Summer let go of his shirt, which was now very wrinkled from her death grip. 

"Summer, you just…"

"I know."

"But you said…"

"_I know_, Cohen."

"Wow. You realize that everyone at Harbor will know in about 2 minutes right?"

She sighed. "Yes. That's the point. If we're going to be together, then we might as well _be_ together. I'm happy with you Seth. I don't want to keep that a secret. People should know how happy we make each other." See, she could be a sweetheart when she wanted to be.

"I agree."

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I was totally unfair to you."

"You're forgiven," he kissed her as she smiled brightly. Their classmates still stared from their place in line. 

"Your shirt's wrinkled. We can take it back to my house and get it washed."

He feigned a look of shock and asked, "But then what will I wear?"

She stood on her tiptoes and whispered something into his ear, making his grin widen.

"Jesus, Summer." She smiled, grabbed his hand and flounced off towards her car. 

Seth squeezed her hand and stopped her in the middle of the street, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her, almost pulling her up from the ground. PDAs were so good. He let his arm fall on the side of her waist, softly rubbing her tiny waist. He looked back at the crowd of Harbor high kids and smiled.

Secret's out. 

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I'll be your secret by Tim James


End file.
